I'm Abbie... 

Follower of Christ.
Wife to Pilot Cal.
(Semi-crazy) cat lady.

ENFJ + Enneagram 7 (/6+ 8).
Believer that creamer > coffee.
Resident of the mountains.
Forever losing my keys.

Intentional Living During the Holiday Season

Intentional Living During the Holiday Season

I've been procrastinating writing this post for awhile. Not because I don't have the words to say, but because I can't offer a quick fix to the hurt that I see. Because when my husband read over this article before it was posted he expressed that it was depressing. And then I wondered if I should post because aren't blogs always supposed to be encouraging and uplifting and joyful?

But I can't sit back passively when I feel the Spirit pressing on my heart to challenge with a call to action. Because deeper knowledge leads to deeper empathy, and deeper empathy equates to deeper love.

To back up; I desperately wanted to chime in with the voices of Thanksgiving gratitude, but I couldn't bring myself to. The bittersweet taste of the holidays clouded my vision, and I wondered if I just shouldn't say anything, because after all- what do you say in the face of so much pain that is not my own? What started as a lengthy Instagram post instead turned it into a blog because there is too much to say and not enough words.

I wrestled a lot this Thanksgiving. I wrestled because I believe in gratitude, and believe fully in it's beauty. I wrestled because thankfulness brings us deeper into the heart of the Father, and that is an incredible thing.

I wrestled because my heart swelled and my stomach hurt from laughing and happy tears were present most of the night for me,but the same time my heart hurt for those who ached. For so many I know whose hearts are truly broken.

For the friends who lost their parents or children too soon, desperately missing them- particularly during the holiday season.

For the dear ones who are crying, waiting, asking for a family of their own.

For the little girls who long to feel safe in their rooms at night.

For the little boys who long for a father.

For the lovely women who are desperately wishing for another half to spend the ordinary with.

For the parents who are too exhausted to cry.

For those fearful of our country's future.

For the precious teenagers who just want to kids, but are hard pressed to forget the secrets of when they were sexually exploited or sold into human trafficking.

My spirit can't seem to be fully lifted when I think about those I personally know in each and every example listed above.

2016 was a hard year for our country. It was a hard year for so many dear ones I hold close to my heart.

And so, this holiday season for me has been one mixed with heart break; because I don't know what it's like to be diagnosed with cancer or be told that I cannot bear children.  And I feel like a naïve little girl in a big cold world, desperately in need of a Savior, and I can't fix it. I can't heal any of it because I am not the Healer. I've prayed earnestly what do I say? How do I be there? and all I can give is that I'm here for you- silently rooting, praying, loving, and seeking to understand.

And this is what I know to be true: 
Thanksgiving is a choice. 
Eucharisteo will never stop being sacred and holy. 
The Giver of all Gifts is always good.

But pain is real, and it is loud, and it is present, and we cannot cover up one affirmation with another. And Jesus takes our suffering so seriously that he was willing to take it upon himself.

I see you, I love you.

He sees you, He loves you.

This holiday season, let's be mindful of those around us. This is a time of year that can be one of the loneliest prisons in the mind. Let's be intentional about the pictures that we share, the words that we speak, and the questions that we ask. 

And hear me, sister- you are not alone because this is not the end. Healing always comes, if not in this life, then in the next. But sometimes it is important to just sit and acknowledge the pain. Sometimes it's important to stop trying to fix and start trying to listen. 

I see you, I love you.

He sees you, He loves you. 

He is not a slave to the stars, but the Maker of them.

Pausing to listen,


10 dates for under $20 (+ a HUGE life update!)

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Confessions of a Questioning Christian

Confessions of a Questioning Christian