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Three unglamorous truths I’ve (re) learned about marriage today:
1. Differing energies between spouses is a very real thing. Sometimes the best way to serve is by giving space.
2. Honesty is the best policy, yes- but gentle honesty is the most Christ like of all.
3. It’s really tough to love others well until we first love our spouse well. As wives (and husbands), marriage is meant to be our first ministry.
PS- don’t be fooled by how happy @cal_meyer looks in this photo. He may or may not have been super ready for me to stop taking pictures. 🙈🤣 #beating50percent #marriagemore #marriage365 #weekendidos
Honestly? The Sunday scaries haunt me every time this day of the week roles around. With the anxieties of the week looming, I am resting in this: “I am not my own. It’s not up to me. I’m not here to save the world. I’m not here to change the world. I’m here to be a faithful presence in it: to work hard, to know that I live and work out of a deep comfort and understanding of who I belong to.” (Matthew Kaemingk)
Back home: unpacked, clothes clean, groceries bought, food prepped, friends caught up with. Ready for the “real world” and also wondering why we (I) feel the need to vacation in order to escape the stress and battle the troubles. We don’t need beaches in order to rest and our ability to relax shouldn’t be contingent upon one week a year designated to nothingness. May our days, weeks, years, and lives be marked by our ability to be still. Because intentional rest is where gratitude blooms.
Even as a kid, I remember being consciously tuned into both the selfishness and righteousness at war at within me. My motives confused me, and lots of times ended up manifested when I dug into any sort of quiet time. I just couldn’t get over the idea that I was reading the Bible because I “had to”, not because I “wanted to”. It wasn’t until my mom told me to (essentially) “fake it till you make it”, that I began to realize righteousness doesn’t come naturally to us. And the older I grew, the more i saw that pure motive is a gift that we cannot force upon ourselves. Rather, the more we do good (even when we have selfish motives and especially when we don’t feel up to it) the more we yearn to, and the more we long to press into the righteousness given to us by Christ. If we wait until our feeble attempts to conjure up our own righteousness come to fruition, we will never move forward. We were never meant to be perfect, in any sense of the word. The battle is not ours to win; it is ours to surrender. #wordsfromthewindowseat
He’s an introvert, I’m an extrovert. He’s an enneagram 5 (least amount of social energy), I’m a 7 (most amount of social energy). He keeps his car meticulously clean, I’m always losing my keys. His drink of choice is an americano, I usually just ask for the one that uses a sugar free syrup. We’re so drastically different, and yet we fit so impossibly well, and it just makes me so happy. What they say is true- the more I know about him, the more i love him. 💕 #beating50percent #marriedup #stayingido
One year ago we packed up our cars, shut the doors, and drove away from our home and heart for the past 26 the years, heading towards our new life in the mountains and dreams of flying high.
Tearing out roots of community to re-plant them elsewhere is never easy nor is it simple. I never thought I would call anywhere but Indiana home. One pilot, a cat, a promotion, countless visitors, hundreds of mountain hikes, a new church + community later, Colorado is home now too. -
And what I’ve learned about risk is this: it doesn’t always look the way we want it to. We’re not entitled to our dreams - especially when our calling looks much different. But when the dream and the calling intertwine, the result is deeply holy. So here we are: believing in both our dreams and our calling. Stepping into risk and learning to fly. Waiting for new seasons when the other pieces of our calling come to fruition. Learning to live in the tension of waiting and celebrating. Building altars every single time the mountains are in sight because they signify that the Lord answers prayers- rarely in my timing, not always how I dream them to be, but always in a way more lavish than I dare imagine. And when I asked the Lord to show me His love and He showed me mountains: holy, vast, mighty, and full of power. Life is messy, dreams are messy, callings are messy, and we are messy. But the beauty and holiness and power and might still remain. 📷: @kacinicole
It was years ago when I first noticed the tiny italicized script in my bible, gently breaking up David’s words in Psalms. I didn’t think of it much then, but when Selah jumped out at me again a few years ago, I had to find out what it really meant. Turns out, Selah is just a way of breaking up the words. Maybe it’s really just a forced pause - knowing that there was just too much to process all at once, so the author added it in as a small kindness. It doesn’t always translate as a kindness, though. Sometimes Selah is annoying and confusing. The gift of a forced pause- to process or grieve or struggle or question- can be uncomfortable at best. And yet... -
There’s been a lot of Selah happening in my heart this year (maybe you’ve noticed?): the forced pause, the breath between sentences, the uncomfortable rest, the whisper of silence. It’s been a theme this year, and one I don’t take lightly - mostly because it’s quite possibly the most uncomfortable I’ve been. Perhaps none of us like silence but maybe we all are in desperate need of it. All I’m trying to really say is this: Selah is good and Selah is needed. You don’t need to love it in order to embrace it, and you certainly don’t need to wish for it in order to believe in it. A paused calling doesn’t mean the calling no longer exists and Selah shows us that breaking up the words in our own lives lets us uncover deep meaning. That being comes before doing. That Selah seasons can be equally good and equally hard. Don’t run from Selah, friends, no matter how confusing, or frustrating, or lonely it can feel. Because sometimes the Author uses Selah as a small kindness, and sometimes that can change the everything.
Learning to be obsessively grateful, starting with him. 💕#1000gifts #thegoodlist #getaftergrateful⠀
The world is full of unexpected beauty. The irony is, when I fill my life to the brim, with no time to breathe because I believe that it is actually possible to experience every last bit, I end up missing so much of it. #ministryofpayingattention
Three years ago today. We didn’t really know what we were getting into, but, to be fair, we knew we didn’t know. We couldn’t foresee that our story in these first three years would hold job loss or uprooting our home or a complete career shift or two cats or a mustache (😖) or a life that looks much different than our friends. We didn’t know that but we knew we didn’t know and we still said yes and there’s just so much beauty in that. Those three little words jam packed full of holy and hard intermingled so powerfully.
And if there’s one thing I’ve learned in marriage thus far, it’s how desperately I need grace. I’ve found that what they say is true: marriage is meant to make you holier, not happier. Which, of course, stings most days when you are forced to ask yourself, “am I really as gracious and loving as I’m portraying myself?” But I’ve also found that, when being married to a man that pours out undeserved love and grace, there’s also a whole lot of happiness mixed into that holiness. And that’s why marriage is also a hint of heaven. I’ll say yes a thousand times to you, Cal Meyer, and then a thousand times more.
I’ve felt really busy lately- like really busy. And when life seems like chaos on all sides, my brain starts threatening to shut down. I create less, I write less, I pray less, and I don’t dive into Scriptures as often. I get mega focused on that “one thing”, and I start using my busyness as an excuse. It wasn’t until I took a long look at my heart that I realized I’m always “busy”. Life is always “chaos”. There is always that “one thing I have to do”. (Side bar: being an enneagram 7 doesn’t help. Read: always looking for excitement and fun). But it’s only when I understand the inner-workings of my heart, that I realize that I have a choice. We all do. A choice to do or a choice to be. A choice to go or a choice to reset. It’s time we stop waiting for the right time to rest. (Spoiler alert: there will never be a “good time” to take a break.) Because it is in the space of consistent, disciplined, and unhurried rest (albeit even just 5 minutes a day) that we can truly proclaim “it is well”.
#preachingtomyownheart right now when i say this: when we are inwardly focused, we begin fixing instead of repenting. scrubbing down our own souls, we start trying to make them bright white all by ourselves. since it’s impossible to wash our own selves clean, we then begin to minimize our wrong doings, shouting into the void, “but I’m a good person!” it’s here that we find ourselves no longer in need of a Savior. because after all, we’ve convinced ourselves that we don’t need fixing. and Christ becomes small in our minds- insignificant and lost on us. it’s only when we fall to our knees again that we realize that there’s not a bucket big enough to wash away our own yuck. it’s here that we remember and it’s here that we experience the supernatural grace that radiates in the dark night. because the bigger we see our sin, the bigger we see our Savior. and the more undeserving we see ourselves, the more we see His mercy.
Packed the days in with hiking and sushi and non-stop weepy-laughter and takis and weird monkey videos and life and wine and joy. They teach me that long distance doesn’t have to change one single thing and that big/wild/loud is worth celebrating and life is a life lived when you belly laugh your way through it. If relationships are the currency of life, then I am one rich lady. 💕 #getaftergrateful #bestiesfortheresties #hanganindenver
He is wearing the same cologne he wore on our first date and I just really like him 😍 #marriedup #beating50percent #stayingido
“Listen, He is the prize. Not His direction, guidance, and clarity, not even His comfort, relief, and encouragement. Just Him. He is the One who encompasses all you are searching for.” -Priscilla Shirer
Oneness in the Spirit overpowers our fickle hearts to learn joy and peace and hope and contentment. The key is to remind our hearts of who we are in Christ, and all that we will be in Him. Because even the best things in this life are just dim hints of what’s to come.
PSA: it doesn’t matter where you live, how many mountains you hike, the number of Patagonia fleeces in your closet, or the size of your tribe - we’re all a little bit broken and a whole lot in need of a Savior.
The hardest pill for me to swallow in marriage has got to be the sacrificial complement of it. Joy and sorrow often intermingle, both showing up in clenched fists and surrendered plans. Undying sacrifice in relationship is the story of two people racing alongside one another, but my selfish impulses can often a different tale. -
It’s rarely our natural instinct to put others before ourselves, despite how deeply we love the other person. The tendency is to glaze sacrificial love over with talk of boundaries and self care but sometimes what we are really saying is: you are not enough. That that person, whoever they may be, is not worth sacrificing for. That they are not worth giving all for. That they are not worth loving deeply and without reserve. And we so often forget that this lens is not what Jesus saw when he looked at us. -
Broken, hurting, and in desperate need of a Savior, He saw US worth sacrificing for. Every want and every desire he had- he gave up for the sake of love. So the question should never be, ‘how much is enough?’, it should always be ‘what would Love do?’ Because love isn’t scraping by, wondering when we will get our turn. Love is learning to sacrifice, despite the cost; no matter the cost.
When the Sunday scaries hit full force and the Monday to-do list starts piling up, I’m reminded once again that there’s no way I can do this alone- and I’m not meant to. The more jam packed my schedule is, the more surrender is required. We were not made to squeeze God into our calendars, but when the life feels squeezed out of us, to pull back and purposefully remember our purpose. The busier we are, the more intentional we ought to be. Join me?
The difference between believing in God and believing God begs for a priority shift. Believing in God allows us to live our lives with a greater Being governing above. Believing God calls us to radically shift our own thoughts, ideas, and values. Believing in God focuses strictly and solely on the end reward. Believing God gives us the freedom to press unashamedly into His character- His kindness and goodness and gentleness. Knowing and understanding the fullness of who HE is then gives US permission to live loved more fully alive.